By Eldrin Vex, Under-Realm Correspondent
His profession? Rat-catcher. Occasionally, he sharpens knives for the Redcap mob. He lives in a repurposed drainage pipe behind the Sludge Mermaid tavern. His only notable possession before this affair was a three-legged cave lizard named Profit. aphrodite the goblins pet
“Frankly,” Vexia added, “I’m jealous.” As this correspondent writes, Aphrodite is reportedly napping in a sunbeam (filtered through a crack in the cavern ceiling) while Snikk grooms her hair with a bone comb and mutters about rat prices. By Eldrin Vex, Under-Realm Correspondent His profession
But others whisper a darker truth: that the goblin did not capture her. He pitied her. He lives in a repurposed drainage pipe behind
Now, he owns Aphrodite. The rumors began seven cycles ago, when a drunken dwarf stumbled out of the Fighting Pits of Karnax. He swore he saw, in the goblin section (mud, bones, and despair), a figure of breathtaking radiance kneeling on a moldy cushion. “Hair like spun starlight,” the dwarf slurred. “Eyes the color of a calm sea. And around her neck… a goblin’s collar.”
“This is either the most wholesome or the most disturbing power inversion in recorded history,” she said, chain-smoking a licorice-root pipe. “Aphrodite has been worshiped, enslaved, fought over, and imprisoned. Now she is a pet. A pet . She has no duties, no expectations, no cosmic role. She simply exists, and a goblin tells her she is a ‘good girl’ twice a day.
The Under-Realm has not known what to do with this answer. I consulted Madam Vexia, a renowned scholar of goblin psychology and divine anomalies.